Friday, November 13, 2009

11/12/09 - Possible Joke on Fallon

***Lou Dobbs announced last night that he's leaving CNN to pursue, "new opportunities." I think we can rule out Telemundo.***

Lou Dobbs announced last night that he's leaving CNN, effective immediately. Dobbs said after 30 years on TV he was beginning to hit a wall - like the one he built around his studio to keep Mexicans out.

Lou Dobbs announced his resignation from CNN last night after almost 30 years with the network. He said he'll miss the faces in the news room the most... Except the foreign correspondents.

...Dobbs said what he'll miss most everyday are the faces in the newsroom... except for Pablo the lighting guy.

64-year-old Lou Dobbs was the last "original anchor" at CNN from its beginning – he started as the network’s chief economic correspondent… and he ended as the guy in office no one wants to get stuck talking to at the Christmas party.

First Lady Michelle Obama will host a health care event tomorrow at the White House tomorrow focused on older women. It's called the "Medicare In Life Forum" - Or M.I.L.F.

Steven Tyler made a surprise appearance at Joe Perry’s concert in New York this week and announced that he is not leaving Aerosmith. Ok, first he's leaving the band, then he's not leaving the band... you know who he's starting to look like? "Dun-uh, Dun-uh... Dude looks like a Brett Favre... Dun-uh, Dun-uh... Dude looks like Brett Favre!" (Singing)

The asking price for Bernie Madoff’s penthouse on the Upper East Side has dropped by a million dollars. Meanwhile in prison, the price of his lower back side went up by a pack of cigarettes.

A prisoner in Georgia was recaptured by police after he escaped using a flip-flip to unlock his cell door. And you wanna know the craziest part of the story? I had no idea Jimmy Buffet was even in prison.

That Connecticut woman mauled by a chimpanzee back in February revealed her face on “Oprah” yesterday for the first time. It was not a pretty sight but everyone at the show was very supportive... except at one point when the woman asked Oprah if she could be on the cover of "O" magazine, and Oprah was like, "yeeeah, suuuuure... just email me."

The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree arrived today! It’s a 76-foot Norway spruce and was donated by a fifth-grade teacher from Connecticut. She said she wanted to get rid of it because she was tired of all the vampires in her class hanging out in it.

The teacher described Rockefeller Center as a "magical place" where "it doesn't matter what kind of problems you're having." NBC was like, "have u seen our ratings, lady? Yeah real magical!"

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