5/8/09

Gov. Schwarzenegger announced that California may need to borrow $20
Billion next year. Residents of California can't believe the news... but
Schwarzenegger said, "it's not a RUMOR"

Sean Hannity is attacking Obama for putting mustard on his hamburger
instead of ketchup. Meanwhile Rush Limbaugh admitted he likes putting
another hamburger on his hamburger.

President Obama is proposing $17 billion in budget cuts for 2010.
Among the wasteful government programs on the chopping block is a
program that sends taxpayer money to a Kenyan prince searching for his
family.

Kiefer Sutherland turned himself in to police on Thursday and was
charged with assault for head-butting a designer. He admitted
committing the assault after torturing himself during interrogation.

The Miami Dolphins are renaming their home Landshark Stadium as part
of a partnership with singer Jimmy Buffett. Upon hearing  the news,
Miami running back Ricky Williams announced, "today... I am the
luckiest man... on the face... of the Earth..."

Phish lead singer Trey Anastasio lobbied Capitol Hill this week on
behalf of drug users. His speech to Congress lasted 30 minutes
straight. It was awesome!

Construction workers in Cleveland will move the city’s Belt Bridge
four inches to the west this weekend. Apparently Cleveland is trying
to fit into a bathing suit this summer.