A new generic pill combining aspirin, cholesterol medicine and blood pressure drugs will contain everything needed to prevent heart attacks and strokes. Side effects include: Nausea, headaches, and getting robbed by old people.
... It's the best thing to happen to the elderly since Depends!
A Utah man fired a sawed-off shotgun into a McDonald’s drive-through window after being told the menu was breakfast-only. Apparently an egg McMuffin just wasn't good enough for the Hamburglar.
President Barack Obama signed legislation Monday setting aside more than 2 million acres in nine states as protected wilderness. The law blocks all future development into areas that previously avoided protection such as the Rockies... or the Octomom.
Bernie Madoff trading cards will be sold this summer as part of a set featuring other white-collar criminals in history. They're great, if you put a bunch of the Madoff cards in the spokes of your bike tires and ride, it sounds like a metal cup being dragged against prison bars.
President Obama met with House Democrats at the Capitol Monday night to urge them to pass his budget plan. The meeting lasted thru dinner and didn't end until 8 o'clock when Barney Frank had to leave to go watch Gossip Girl.
Former Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson announced she is coming out with her own line of stripper poles. Included with the hardware will be a pole dancing workout video and a diet plan based around eating dinner at 4 in the afternoon.
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