6/26/09

Sad news, I'm sure you've all heard... the King of Pop Michael Jackson
passed away yesterday... He'll be immortalized by rhythmless white
guys on dance floors everywhere.

Critics of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” insist that two
robots in the film portray stereotypically black characters. One has a
gold tooth and the other is named "Madea."

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford met with his wife, Jenny, for the
first time on Thursday since admitting his affair with a woman in
Argentina. The meeting got off to a bad start when Sanford broke the
ice by telling his wife he missed her tan lines.

During Mark Sanford's press conference Wednesday where he admitted to
cheating on his wife, Fox News incorrectly identified the Republican
Governor as a Democrat. Meanwhile the Travel Channel identified
Sanford as their, "Man of the Year."

19-year-old “Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe said he prefers
dating older women – because girls his own age are too much work.
Which explains the title of his next movie: "Harry Potter and the Low
Maintenance MILF".

A new study finds that texting and driving is worse than drinking and
driving. The study also found that "sexting" in the back seat is more
uncomfortable than having sex in the back seat.

Scientists believe that an extract from coffee can kill the bacteria
that causes bad breath. Unfortunately it can do nothing for "coffee
breath."

Did you hear this, Gloria Estefan will become part owner of the Miami
Dolphins? Her first act as co-owner: Changing the team's name to "the
Miami Sound Machine".

Happy birthday to "Lost" creator J.J. Abrams who turned 43 years old
today. When he blew out the candles on his cake... the smoke picked
him up and threw him across the room.

Ruth Madoff was seen riding the F train in New York yesterday. She
said she likes riding the subway because it makes her feel like she's
in prison with her husband.