10/16/09

“Miracle on the Hudson” pilot Chesley Sullenberger released his
autobiography this week called “Highest Duty: My Search for What
Really Matters.” Readers can find it in the not-fiction section... and
geese can find it in the horror section.

Meghan McCain is threatening to “pull a Miley” and delete her Twitter
account after she was harassed for posting a racy picture of herself.
She's also threatening to "pull a Billy Ray" and delete the sides of
her hair.

Pamela Anderson will star in a pantomime production of “Aladdin” in
London this Christmas. She'll play the Geanie... and the lamp will be
played by a bottle of Valtrex.

Beginning in July, telecommunication companies in Finland will be
required to provide all 5.2 million citizens with an Internet
connection. Meanwhile, most Americans can't even get access to WebMD.

A woman in Australia divorced her husband after he asked her to choose
between him and her pet crocodile. What a "croc-sucker."

TLC is suing Jon Gosselin for breach of contract after he appeared on
rival networks’ programs instead of on “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” This guy
is a piece of work, not only did he cheat on Kate, he also cheated on
TLC.

In Ohio, a woman was arrested for starting a riot in a store when she
announced she'd won the lottery and would pay for everyone's purchase
- but then drove off without paying. apparently it was all a huge
misunderstanding... The woman tried to pay but the store doesn't
accept giant checks.

... Apparently she was pledging a fraternity.

Did anyone see the “balloon boy” – Falcon Heene – on TV this morning?
He threw up two times – once on the “Today” show and once on “Good
Morning America.” You know, if I wanted to wake up to someone barfing
all over my TV in the morning... I'd go back to college.