Halloween is coming up this weekend! I love this time of year... trick or treating, haunted houses, everyone dresses up in crazy costumes... or as Lady Gaga calls it, "business casual."
Large cracks have appeared in the cement ramps at the new Yankees' Stadium but engineers have called them safe. Meanwhile all the Yankees fans were like, "No way! What are you blind?! How can you call them safe?!"
Brad Pitt is doing fine after he was involved in a minor motorcycle accident in Los Angeles yesterday. Doctors say he's extremely lucky... not because he could've died, but because he's Brad friggin' Pitt!
A woman in Malaysia will get free air travel for life after she gave birth to a baby boy while on an airplane. As for all the other passengers, next time they'll drive.
Congratulations to Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, who got married yesterday. During the ceremony attendees were told, "if anyone disapproves of the marriage let them speak now or forever hold their piece..." Then the rabbi added, "or wear it on your head... whichever."
Happy happy 63rd birthday to Wheel of Fortune host, Pat Sajak. To celebrate he went shopping in his living room... for $82 he took the lamp... for $150 he took the bookshelf, for $400 he took the recliner...
A newspaper in Denver, Colorado is taking applications for a medical marijuana reviewer. The reviews will use the thumb system: 2 thumbs up for good weed and for really good weed: "whooooaaaa, check it out, I have five thumbs up."
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