6/1/09

George W. Bush called Bill Clinton “his brother” during their
appearance together in Toronto Friday. Then they both hopped a plane
to Florida and wedgied Jeb.

Today is June 1st, which marks the official start of hurricane
season... It's Dick Cheney's favorite time of year because he says,
it's like getting waterboarded by Mother Nature.

President and Michelle Obama had a date night Saturday and flew to New York
City to see a Broadway play. It was originally supposed to be a double
date with the Bidens but the Vice President isn't allowed in theatres.

Experts predict that the one-millionth word in the English language will be
added on Wednesday, June 10, 2009. Meanwhile former President Bush
just added his 22nd word to his vocabulary.

GM has declared bankruptcy and, as a result, will get $30 billion more in
taxpayer aid. Which should cover the cost of a brand new line of
"Going Out of Business" signs.

Octomom Nadya Suleman signed a deal on Thursday to star in her own
reality TV show. The working title as of now is, “Nadya and Six, Plus
Eight, Times Crazy”

American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert will confirm that he is gay in an
upcoming issue of Rolling Stone magazine. Finally! Now I can get back
to wondering if “the blind guy” is really blind…

Competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi beat his rival, Joey Chestnut, on
Saturday by eating 5 and ¾ one-pound P’zones in 6 minutes. Wow, that’s
a lot of P’zones… I know the most P’zones I’ve ever eaten is NONE.

President Obama made another surprise stop at a burger joint Friday,
this time at a local DC chain called Five Guys. The visit went way
better than the last time Dick Cheney ate there because this time, no
one got “Pepsi-boarded.”

The National Archives is offering a $50,000 cash reward for the return
of a missing hard drive containing sensitive data from the Clinton
Administration. But officials aren’t taking any chances. They’ve
already changed Clinton’s old password’s to something other than,
“Boobies.”

Preakness winner Rachel Alexandra will not run in the Belmont Stakes
this coming Saturday because her owners say she needs rest. They’re
also worried she might break a nail.

… Instead of the racing, her owners say she’ll probably just stay in
and rent a movie.

Angelina Jolie was briefly hospitalized Friday after she banged her
head while filming an action sequence for a movie. Her injuries aren’t
too serious but they did leave her with a bump the size of her lips.

… A full recovery is expected but doctors did recommend she take a few
days off from adopting anyone.