6/4/09

***Bad news for John Kerry, the IRS filed an $800,000 tax lien on his
2004 presidential campaign. Which finally explains his long face.***
(Possibly a 5th joke on the show but set up was different and it's an easy punch, could be anyone's joke...)

Did you watch Brian Williams' special report from the White House this
week? Bo, the Obama's dog stole the show. Not only can he fetch and
roll over... but on command he can sit up and beg Joe Biden to shut
up.

Did you watch Brian Williams' special report from the White House this
week? Apparently it was such a success that NBC News is planning a
similar special following Vice President Joe Biden around for the day.
It's gonna be a 12-part mini series.

Osama bin Laden released a new audiotape Wednesday morning, saying
that President Obama “has planted new seeds of hatred.” When the GOP
heard this they immediately named Bin Laden the new face of the
Republican Party.

... When Rush Limbaugh heard this he said, "now there's a guy I hope succeeds."

Archeologists in Serbia found a finely preserved mammoth skeleton –
believed to be one million years old. Until now the only mammoth
skeleton ever found belonged to Kirstie Alley.

Paul McCartney will perform the first concerts at Citi Field, the new
home of the Mets, on July 17 and 18. To pay tribute to team, he plans
to perform a set from the classic 1966 Beatles concert at Shea Stadium
and then collapse like the 2008 Mets.

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia presented Obama with a large shiny gold
medallion on a thick gold chain. Iniders say the necklace is a regift
from the last time King Abdullah had Mr. T over for dinner.

... Iniders say the necklace is a regift from the last time King
Abdullah had Shaft over for dinner.

What a week for Angelina Jolie. Yesterday she moved passed Oprah for
the top spot on Forbes’ list of the world's most powerful celebrities.
She celebrated by adopting Oprah.

In a speech at Cairo University, President Obama said he wanted "a new
beginning between the U.S. and Muslims throughout the world." Israel
heard this and was like, "a new beginning with the Muslim world, good
luck with that."

In a speech at Cairo University, President Obama said he wanted "a new
beginning between the U.S. and Muslims throughout the world." Israel
heard that and was like, "a new beginning? What do you mean, like a
going out of business sale and then a grand re-opening?"

President Obama received a standing ovation after a historic speech at Cairo
University in Egypt today. Later it turned out it wasn't a standing
ovation at all... the whole audience was just being checked by bomb
sniffing dogs.