6/12/09 - Latest Joke on the Show/ Goldich collabo

(LATEST JOKE ON THE SHOW - COLLABO WITH MATT GOLDICH)
***Cher’s daughter, Chastity Bono, will have gender reassignment surgery – and
will soon become a man. She's even writing a song about it called, "I Got You, Balls".***

Doctors say they will build her a penis using some of her mother's old faces.

Cher said, "it's no big deal... I've had the surgery hundreds of times..."

On Thursday, President Obama wrote and signed a note for a fourth-grade girl
in Green Bay, Wisconsin who missed a day of school so she could hear him
speak at a town hall meeting. While he was there he also wrote a note
for Brett Favre so he could play for the Vikings.

... Obama also wrote a note to get Joe Biden out of detention.

Joy Behar – the co-host of “The View” – will get her own nightly talk
show on CNN this fall. Instead of a panel of women talking about “Hot
Topics” Behar will mostly just talk about her “Hot Flashes.”

Police in Tennessee intercepted nearly 35 pounds of hallucinogenic
mushrooms baked into 500 Reeses Peanut Butter cups that were intended
for the Bonnaroo music festival. I told you we should’ve used
Butterfingers! --- JARED.

A subway conductor used her uniform jacket to catch a newborn baby on
Thursday afternoon when a woman went into labor on a New York City
subway train. Then the conductor bought a blinking neon keychain from
a Chinese woman to get the baby to stop crying.

Today marks the switch from analog to digital television in the United
States. Which means my parents can no longer watch the show… So, bring
on the nudity!

The Senate voted overwhelmingly on Thursday to limit the levels of
nicotine in cigarettes. But you know what? They can never take away
how cool you look when you smoke them.

A man in Michigan was arrested this week after he broke into a woman’s
house while wearing a purple bra and boxer shorts. Guess we know how
Manny Ramirez is spending his 50-game suspension.

A massive underground drug smuggling tunnel snaking through the
U.S.-Mexican border was discovered recently. The authorities
inspecting the tunnel are just glad it was used for Mexican drug
smuggling and not Mexican plumbing.

The 23rd season of MTV's "The Real World" will shoot this summer in
Washington, D.C. It's the true story of seven strangers who stop being
polite and start acting like Joe Biden.