6/3/09 - 4th JOKE ON THE SHOW!!!

***A woman in Pennsylvania is searching for her runaway pet – a 52-pound
African tortoise. Maybe I can help... "Ma'am if you're listening, have
you tried looking three inches from where you last saw your turtle?"***

A four-day, marathon edition of Hugo Chavez's weekly talk show had to
be cut short this weekend due to technical difficulties. For those of
you who don't know, "technical difficulties" is just TV lingo meaning,
"Heidi and Spencer quit the show."

Zac Efron – from High School Musical – will make a cameo on the sixth
season of HBO’s “Entourage. Producers said anyone from High School
Musical would've fit the bill since the roll called for someone who
could make Lloyd come off straight.

Michael Jackson said he is not physically strong enough to perform 50
concerts in London beginning this summer. The most Jackson thinks he
can do is ten concerts... but that would take a lot of Jesus Juice.

Michael Jackson said he is not physically strong enough to perform 50
concerts in London beginning this summer. He added that only a much
younger man could handle a schedule like that... so if you know of
one, he'd like to meet him.

A co-star says that Brad Pitt uses baby wipes to freshen up when he
doesn’t have time to shower. The co-star also revealed that when Pitt
doesn't have time to go to the bathroom he just dumps Jennifer Aniston
again.

NASA will start using Twitter to invite members of the media to cover
space shuttle launches. If that doesn't get the media to take notice,
NASA will try having Susan Boyle sing the countdown.

... if that doesn't get the media to take notice NASA will try landing
a shuttle in Eminem's lap.

... if that doesn't get the media to take notice NASA will try
cheating on Kate Gosselin.

... NASA tried sending Evites but they just ended up in the media's spam.